Don't Make Me Spank You

Yeah, I'm talking to you!  We are rocking out over at AJ in the Left Lane.  Seriously, free booze.

Okay, maybe no free booze, but you are welcome to bring your own.  http://ajleftlane.blogspot.com/

Come on over and say HI!

Reminder!

Hey y'all!  Don't forget to come see me over in the Left Lane!  I've got some fun stuff coming up... promise :)

http://ajleftlane.blogspot.com/

See you there!

Sneak Preview!

Seriously, it is November 1st... and I'm actually doing something on time.  Bear with me because there isn't much there quite yet.  Kind of an upgraded version of this blog. 

I'm nervous and hoping and praying that I will do better with the new blog than I have with this one.  My friends and family actually know about the new one, as opposed to this one, so this should be fun!

Let me know what you think!  http://ajleftlane.blogspot.com/

I'm hoping that you will all continue to follow me.  I sincerely appreciate you reading my ramblings over the past year or so.  Thank you, and I hope to see you over in the Left Lane!

XOXO

Good News!

I know I have been completely absent pretty much the entire month.  If it helps, I have been working on my new blog.  I'm hoping to kick things off on Nov. 1st (this is the good news, ohbytheway)!  So stay tuned for the details.  It will be a little different from this one.  Not as much bitching and moaning, more fun.  Well, at least that is the intention.  Time will tell!

Oh yeah, and I'm pretty sure I have bronchitis.  Feel sorry for me?  I wish I could say that is my excuse for being so lazy lately.  And today is my 2nd anniversary.... and I'm sick.  Now do you feel sorry for me?

Jake Update

As much as I talk about Jake, I haven't really given an update on what he has been up to lately.  He goes back to the doctor for his four month check up and shots on October 18th.  Holy hell, did I just say four months?!  ZOMG.  Where has the time gone???

Anyway, I'm guessing he is around 13 pounds now.  He is laughing and "talking" ALL the time.  My heart feels like it will burst every time I see that huge, flirty smile.  He already has to fight off the ladies.  I can only imagine what trouble we will have on our hands in a few years!

I never thought I would be one to let me child watch tv at such a young age, but he loves Baby Einstein and Wonder Pets on Nick, Jr.  We limit his tv time to about 30 minutes to an hour, depending on the day and the time.  He talks to the tv almost as much as he talks to the mobile in his crib.

And speaking of his crib, he rarely fusses anymore when we put him down to bed.  We have established a great nighttime routine that consists of bathtime, storytime, and saying his prayers before we cut his mobile on and kiss him goodnight.  He gets pretty antsy during storytime- not sure if it is an aversion to Alice in Wonderland (J's pick, not mine) or if he is just ready to stretch out and go to sleep.

Mornings are his best time of day.  He is so incredibly happy!  When J or I peek into the crib he always looks surprised before a big grin spreads over his face.  He started sleeping through the night around 12 weeks, so I'm guessing all of that good sleep makes it easier to wake up in a good mood.

He has great control over his head and is really starting to show some strength during tummy time.  Sophie is his new favorite toy and he laughs like crazy whenever she sqeaks.  I was amazed the first time he actually reached out and tried to grab her.  He also loves his yellow taggie blanket.  We don't leave him alone when he has it, but he loves snuggling with it.

One thing that hasn't changed- he is never as happy and content as he is when he is in Mama or Daddy's arms.  He knows we are his, and that he is always safe with us.  It seems that every day he does something new.  I used to think that parents were crazy when they said that.  No way a kid can do something EVERY.SINGLE.DAY.  But y'all, I swear most days it seems true.

Changes made

Hopefully, my blog no longer looks like a drug-induced haze of purple polka dots, so you all can continue reading my ramblings.  Not that there has been much to read as of late.  I could give you a host of excuses, but I won't bore you any further.
My sinuses are acting up from being outside all weekend.  We had Campmeeting (link for whole label), oh boy.  Usually, I have fun, but not so much this year.  Probably because I can no longer go eat, drink, and be merry.  I was really worried about how Jake would handle everything.  He hated it.  I'm guessing he was just completely overwhelmed by all of the sights and sounds.  Not only that, but now he is a little congested.  I feel bad for him.  But OH MAH GAWD he looked so ridiculously cute in his little camo fleece.  And not really suprisingly I forgot to take pictures.  Oh, and you probably won't see pictures of the big Sunday- like last year- because I look horrible.  No lie.

So, I figured since I won't be sharing any of those pics, I will show you some random picture that I just downloaded.

J and I before his cousin's wedding (please excuse the mess that is our house and my super white legs)

 Little J after his first big political event

Sleepy head with his foot sticking out of the crib

Okay, I've made a decision

And I hope you will all stick with me.  I'm going to start a new blog.  When I started this one, I wanted something for myself.  It was never intended to share with family and friends.  For some reason, I think I want to do things a little differently now.  I've already discussed it with J and he is interested, so I think I'm going to just do it.

I didn't really know what to expect with this blog, and I'm honestly not sure what to expect with a new one other than the fact that people who know me IRL will know about it.  There have been times that I have shared maybe a little more than I would have if I knew that people who knew me were reading (and yes, I understand that I took a risk by putting it out there in the first place).

With all of that said, my new blog is going to be a little different. I will still be sharing personal information, just probably not as detailed as I have been at times.  Also, I plan to talk a lot about products I like, recipes, books I've read, shoes, and a lot of other things that I never got to on this blog.

I'm really hoping that you will like it!  And if you don't, I really hope you will kick me in the ass and tell me that I screwed up.  I'm also not deleting this blog in case I decide to come back to it... though I'm not sure how that would work.

I'm going to start setting things up today and hopefully be online in the next couple of weeks.  I will definitely still be posting here in the meantime.  Oh, and my new blog is going to be pretty!  In other words, I'm having someone design it for me!

So, what do you say?  Are you coming?  Please don't make me beg! 

Random Thoughts

Just a few random thoughts for the day:

• I still haven't decided what to do about my blog.  However, I've been told that the current background makes it a little hard to read, so I'm going to work on that... hopefully tomorrow.
• If you would like to follow me on Twitter, I'm @ajakz.
• Jake needs a Halloween costume and I need ideas.
• I still haven't posted pictures of Jake's room because it still isn't finished.  J and I wanted to hang the mirror and a couple of other things last weekend, BUT we couldn't find the mirror.  How do you lose a mirror? 
• I never did the Things I Hope I Always Remember for my 3rd trimester.  I've probably already forgotten everything  ::sigh::

Hope everyone had a great Tuesday!  And my Twitter updates are even more random than this list.  Especially when wine is involved.

I'm thinking again...

Part of me is thinking of finding someone to help me revamp my entire blog.  Part of me is considering scrapping this whole thing and starting over.  I mean, let's face it, there isn't really much on here that is worth keeping.  Would y'all follow me to the new blog? 

I'll keep thinking and y'all let me know what you think.  If I start over, and maybe if I don't, I'm really hoping to ramp it up.  You know, cool stuff like giveaways, etc. 

What?!  You don't believe me???  I guess it is hard to believe since I can't even manage to implement some sort of continuity to my posts.  Hmmmmm... I'll keep thinking.

Hope y'all had a great weekend and are having a wonderful Monday!

My Humps

First of all, my lovely lady lumps are subsiding due to the fact that I am no longer pumping.  GASP.  I know, it is a sin to some.  But my child is right at three months and has enough in storage to go a little longer.  It was just too difficult with my long ass commute and work.  I'm sure he will be fine.

Anyway, back to my humps.  I gained weight everywhere when I was pregnant.  A lot of people swore that I was having a girl, due to my roundness.  Alas, it was not meant to be and I was gaining fat.  Whatever.  I will not apologize for the cheesecake and cupcakes and candy... not even to my large booty.  And I don't do the Kim Kardashian look well.

At the end of maternity leave I started the 30 day shred and incorporated some p90x in with it.  Maybe it kick started a little weight loss, I'm not sure.  The scale didn't really budge.  Then I started loosely following Weight Watchers.  I've only lost a few pounds, BUT.....

Y'all, I can almost fit back in my jeans.  I am so SUPER excited.  They don't button and they are still really tight, but I can get them on.  YAAAAYYYYY!!!  Oh, I guess I should mention that these are my bigger jeans.  They are a size 6 and I used to wear a 4.  I miss my 4's, but Jake was, is, and always will be worth it.  Even if I never wear the 4's again.  I'm totally cool with 6.

And if that wasn't good enough, my husband text me earlier and told me that I looked "fire ass hot" today.  He has such a way with words ::swoon::  It feels good to feel good about myself again.

Baby Blues

*I wrote this entry a while back, but never could bring myself to post it.  It was hard to write.  However, it was a major part of my experience, so I decided to share.

The first 10 or so days of Jake's life are a complete blur.  I've never been so happy and yet so miserable in my life.  I looked at him and knew that I loved him, but I didn't feel like I was capable of taking care of him the way he deserved.

As I mentioned in my birth story, I couldn't eat.  I also couldn't sleep.  The first two nights, I put him to sleep in the FP Rock 'n Play and stared at him for hours.  My parents were staying with us and I insisted that someone be watching Jake at all times.  My worst fear throughout my pregnancy was that he would stop breathing and I would lose him.  It still scares me.

My hormones were raging for that first week or two.  When I slept, it was for about two hours at a time.  I would wake up and jump out of bed to check on my baby.  I would be drenched in sweat, as would my sheets.  Then I would be freezing.  The temperature in the house stayed set on 78 because I was so cold while I was awake.

The crying was probably the worst.  Or more accurately, the toll my crying took on everyone else.  I would look at J and see the desparation in his eyes.  His wife was seemingly falling apart and he didn't know what to do.  He considered calling my doctor, but at that point I realized that I had to do something to help myself, even if it was to try to ignore the way I was feeling and try to feel "normal."

I felt like a complete failure, and Jake's crying rang in my ears.  I could hear it in the shower.  I could hear it when I was in my room with two fans on full blast, hiding under the covers and praying that the bed would swallow me and I would just disappear.  I loved my son, but I couldn't understand what had compelled me to think that I could handle having a baby.

Still, when I looked at his sweet face it all felt worth it.  I knew in my heart that I would be better and that I would be the mother that he needed, no matter how I felt inside.  Thankfully, these "baby blues" only lasted about two weeks.  I look back on those few days and it makes me sad to have felt that way, but I know that it is something that most women face post-partum.

My son is wonderful and thriving!  At his two week checkup he was up to 8 pounds and almost 11 pounds at his two month.  The clothes that completely swallowed him early on now fit perfectly.  My baby is already growing up! 

Daddy's Little Helper

I'm back at work

Everything is as I left it.  And it still sucks.  Oh well, enough about that.  I'm back to my blog and that is good enough for now.  Unfortunately, I still have a lot of catching up to do at work, so the post today won't have a lot of substance to it. 

Yesterday was a trial run at day care.  Jake cried when I left.   That little lower lip stuck out and trembled.  I lost it, but at least I waited until I was in my car.  He is just so stinkin' cute and I can't stand the thought of him being upset... especially if I'm the cause of it.  Heartbreaking.

He just seemed confused today.  And yes, I know that at a couple of days shy of 12 weeks he really doesn't know what is going on.  However, it makes me feel good to think that he misses me.

I can't wait to get home.  It is kind of nice doing something a little different for a change, but I still despise my job and would much rather be playing with Jake.  Maybe WHEN I get a new job I will be a little more okay with being away for him for so long.  Or maybe not.  Either way, I have got to get to the job hunting. 

So, on my to do list there are numerous blog related items.  First, find a new background.  Again, I welcome any suggestions!  Then I'm going to post something interesting... Ha!  Okay, for serious, I'm thinking about doing some sort of giveaway.  There are only a few of you actually reading this, so your chances are very good! 

Have a good Wednesday, y'all!  I'll be back tomorrow.  Smiley faces!!!

Change of plans

So... I was supposed to go back to work today.  I planned on going back after only 11 weeks, so that I could start on the first of the month.  Well, I changed my mind.  Not that I couldn't bear the thought of going back, although it certainly will be hard.  I just haven't had the time that I needed to put my best effort in to finding a new job.

J actually made the decision for me, sweet man.  We went ahead and sent Jake to daycare and I've gotten busy working towards my new career.  I'm making a little bit of progress.

And what does this mean for the blog?  It simply means that you will all be overwhelmed with numerous posts from me starting next Wednesday!  I might even be posting two or three times a day.  It has been a long time since I've posted anything interesting, but boy do I have some stories to tell.  Some good, some not so good... some downright scary and I'm a little afraid to put them in writing.

Ooooohhh, the suspense!  I'm sure it is killing you ::eye roll::  Anyway, I am looking forward to it and I hope you are, too.  I've missed this!  See you in a week!!!

Happy Sunday!

So I'm not really happy with the new background, but it was the best I could do in the few minutes that I had while drinking my coffee.

I'm starting to find little moments in my day that I can take just for me.  Hopefully, that means that I'll be able to write a little more often.  Oh, and I do have a few posts that I've written that I just haven't posted yet... stuff about baby blues and other things that are pretty personal.  I just haven't gotten the balls yet to post them.

Happy Sunday everyone!  Life is good :)

Bear with me

Apparently, I've been gone so long that my background is no longer working.  Anyone got any suggestions for a good site to get a cute, new one?  I can't promise that it will get done soon... gee, imagine that?! 

In other news, I go back to work soon.  Boo!  And when I say soon, I mean that I have about four weeks left.  The good news is that when I go back I will have plenty of time to write.  Especially since I am now finished with school, yay!!!

See y'all soon!

This post took as long as the remodeling!

After months of promising you a look at the kitchen, here it is!  I'm sure I've mentioned before, but we live in J's grandmother's old house.  And when I say old, I mean dinosaurs were probaby still roaming the earth.  In case it is not glaringly obvious, the old kitchen had yellow and green wallpaper with strawberries, the floors were the same green and the countertops were yellow.

And now, the finished product!

Birth Story

I am so sorry I have neglected you for so long.  It has been nearly impossible to schedule baby, school, and life... but it has been an amazing ride so far!  So, here is my super long birth story...

Thursday, June 17th, around 11:30am I started feeling a little crampy. I didn't really think anything of it until I started having tinges of pink in my discharge. Throughout the day, the blood increased. The cramps still didn't really hurt, but by about 3:00pm they were 5 minutes apart. I held off on calling the doctor's office until 4:00pm because I didn't really believe I was in labor. I could still talk, walk, etc and I just didn't think they were contractions.
The nurse actually laughed at me when I called, as if I was in denial about being in labor! She told me to go to L&D to get checked out. J was at work and couldn't make it home any quicker than 5:00pm. At the time, it didn't seem like a big deal. I truly believed that we would get to the hospital, get checked, and be sent home. Around 5:00 I went next door to his parents' house to say goodbye to my dog (he was hanging out with them for the afternoon). I think the walk over really turned up the heat on my "contractions." By then I was in a good bit of pain. MIL made me some toast because I hadn't eaten lunch.

J got home and showered, and we were on the road by 5:30. He started timing my contractions and they were 3 minutes apart... and we were still an hour away from the hospital. The ride was pretty awful, but we got to the hospital and were in a room by 7:00.
L&D was super busy and an ER nurse gave me my IV. She blew a vein in my right arm before finally getting the IV in my hand. It hurt, but not nearly as bad as the contractions. The doctor came in and checked me and I was 4cm, 90%, and -2.
The contractions sucked, BAD. They were finally able to give me the epidural at 9:30. It didn't hurt, and took away the pain with the TEST dose. They had to cut it down about 20%. Who knew I would be such a light weight! When people describe it as heavenly, they are dead right. It was. I was finally able to relax a little. They did have to put me on an extrememly low dose of pitocin because the epi kind of stalled the contractions a little.
Our families came in and visited with us until about 11:00pm when J and I decided to take naps and get a little bit of rest before the big show. The doctor wanted to check me one more time before we went to sleep. She said, "You are never going to believe this. It is time to push." I started shaking violently because I was so nervous!!! J was wonderful encouragement through the two hours of pushing. I couldn't feel anything. I kept hitting my leg and apologizing to the nurse because I thought I was hitting her!
The doc did have to give me an episiotomy, but only about a quarter of an inch. Afterward, the baby came right out. J got very choked up when he told me that it was a boy. Jake was born at 1:01am on June 18th and was 7lbs 4oz, 20 3/4 inches. He didn't cry right at first and they thought he might be having a little trouble breathing. I had developed a fever over the two hours of 102.1. Jake also had a slight fever at first.
I was sewn up and given a fundal massage, which I also couldn't feel, and was able to hold Jake after about 30 minutes. I breastfed him for the first week, but because of his eating schedule and having his days and nights mixed up I have had to resort to pumping. It has made life much easier. We have also had to supplement with some formula because I am not making enough milk to keep him satisfied. That has been very disappointing, but the important thing is that my baby is fed and happy.
I'm not going to lie. This is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. Our lives have been turned upside down, but it is worth it. Jake is just precious. I cried all the way home from the hospital because I was so scared. I didn't sleep for the first two nights at home because I was petrified that he would stop breathing. All in all, I was a complete zombie for the first week, but it has gotten much better. I'm not sure why, but I also had NO appetite. I really think that is what had such a negative effect on my milk production. The baby blues are no joke. It has been rough, but Jake is wonderful. I promise I will post pics later!
I have no clue if this birth story is complete. I may go back and look at it later and realize that I left out something important. Over all, I can not emphasize enough how completely amazing my husband has been. He has taken such good care of me and Jake. Recovery has not been easy, but not nearly has hard as I thought it would be.

Oh yeah, and I finally took pictures of the kitchen!  Maybe I'll get around to posting them soon... hopefully!

Baby Jackson is HERE!

... and it's a BOY! Jacob Lee "Jake" Jackson was born at 1:01am Friday, June 18th. I can't wait to tell y'all my birth story. So far it has been an absolutely wonderful experience. I feel so blessed and so lucky. It was nothing like what I had in my mind, but it was perfect. I could not have asked for anything better.

We are being discharged from the hospital today. I am sure the next few days and/or weeks will be difficult, but I promise I will do my best to make time to tell you all of the details. 

Wish me luck! I feel like we are just starting the adventure of a lifetime! Oh, and of course, I will be drowning you in pictures as soon as I possibly can.  Here are a couple that I took with my phone:

***Sorry if the formatting is a little funky.  I'm not sure what the deal is.

LAST DAY OF WORK!

I'm sorry, but there is just nothing else that I can say that will be greater than those four words.

Oh yeah, and I have an appointment tomorrow, so I'll try to update as quickly as I can... you know, since I'll be HOME and all :)

T minus 10 days, y'all!

Or something like that.  I guess it just depends.  Maybe I should explain.

I had my regular appointment on Wednesday.  It was VERY interesting.  First, I was told that I am 2cm dilated, 70% effaced, and baby is still at -2 station.  Good news, I am progressing!

Then my doctor asked me if we had discussed induction.  You are probably thinking, just as I was, "ummm, no, why?"  My swelling is out of control.  But my blood pressure is still fairly normal, so I didn't understand why we would discuss it.  She said that she believed with the swelling that my BP would continue to go up, so she scheduled me for induction on June 21st.  Holy shit.  That is only 10 days from today. 

I really, REALLY wanted to have that experience of going into labor naturally, but it is nice to know that there is a definite end in sight.  And more importantly, OUR BABY WILL BE HERE IN A LITTLE OVER A WEEK!!! 

I guess I just have mixed feelings about everything.  If my body wasn't already making progress, I would not have agreed to the induction.  And let's not forget that because my body is making progress, that Baby Jackson may decide to make the big debut before the 21st.

Want to know what I don't have mixed feelings about?  Tuesday being my last day of work!  Yippee!!!