Wow...

5 weeks and 18 weeks

Okay, so this is the first time I have looked at these pics side-by-side.  One thing is for certain, my ass is huge.  Where the hell did that thing come from?  Yikes.  I absolutely can not wait until my next appointment in two weeks to find out exactly how much my ass I weigh.  And to see the baby, of course.

Nursery Ideas- blue can be girly, right?

The battle rages on, folks.  To find out or to not find out?  I'm finding that most people are extremely opinionated about this subject.  I could go either way, I guess, but I prefer not to find out.  J would like to know, but he is also a bit intrigued by the element of surprise... oh, and being able to announce "he's got nuts" or something to that effect.

But I digress.  This one simple question has presented one major obstacle.  What to do with the nursery?  Currently, it is a very neutral sage green.  I went through a stage where I hated it, but more than I hate it I definitely DO NOT want J to have to repaint it.

So, with the help of my lovely mother and my best friend, I have scoured many fabric sites to find something that would blend well.  And truthfully, there is just not much out there that has jumped out at me.  Well, with the exception of all the pink and green combinations, and purple.  Not gender neutral, I know.

So, I FINALLY found something that I thought was very cute and could work for either a boy or a girl...

http://www.nurseryfabrics.com/

I ordered the swatches and ripped into the package with sheer excitement.  Yes, well, those seemingly yellow stripes and dots are actually a puke green, the green stripes are more of an aqua, and the green with the white scroll is more of the sage green.  All in all, none of it worked.  Back to the drawing board.

But hope is not lost!  Yesterday, I stumbled upon (and ordered swatches) of these little gems...

http://www.javisdavis.com/

I learned my lesson the first time about the green, so I'm not getting my hopes up.  Also, I realize that in a green room, a lot more green will be overkill.  So, we are going for something like this...

I'm not a HUGE fan of the big blue dots, so we will see what it looks like.  Also, the big blue dots and the stripe patterns both have a touch of green in them.  I realize that the blue with white dots is not included.  That may be incorporated in to some other detail of the room, such as pillows or something.

And since we are on the subject, here is the furniture that we have picked out- and our parents have graciously offered to pay for...

http://www.babycache.com/

It is quite difficult to imagine how all of this will come together.  I will definitely keep you updated, though!

17 weeks today!

For some reason, I am always extremely nervous about doctor's appointments.  The one Wednesday was no different, but as always she said everything looked great!  The baby's heartbeat was 157.  The only odd thing was that she said I had lost 3 pounds.  Umexcusemedowhatnow???  How is that?  My scales were a total of SIX pounds off, on the heavier side, than hers!  I guess I should go by what hers said?

So now she is concerned, J is concerned, my mother is concerned... and I am befuddled.  How in the world did that happen?  And what is wrong with my scales, as they are still six pounds higher than hers???  Color me confused.

Anyway, my lovely family is now stuffing food down my throat and constantly checking up on me.  Fun times, I tell ya.    Well, it has been a while, so here is a new quiz for your entertainment:

• How far along?: 17 weeks.

• Total weight gain: According to the doc’s scales, I have gained 8 pounds; however, according to my scales I have gained 15. Go figure.

• How big is baby?: the size of an onion

• Maternity clothes?: Still just my Bella Band.

• Stretch marks?: Nope.

• Sleep?: Hasn’t been as great as it once was. Some nights I am practically in a coma, other nights I don’t get much sleep at all.

• Best moment this week?: Hearing the baby’s hearbeat!

• Movement?: Ummm, not sure? I think maybe I’m feeling some flutters, but nothing definite.

• Food cravings?: Cheesecake and orange juice (which I have always despised).

• Gender?: I’m still thinking boy, but I’m not as confident as I once was.

• Labor signs?: Nope.

• Belly button in or out?: In, but it oddly seems to be expanding. Twilight zone shizz.

• What I miss: I still miss my red wine.


• What I'm looking forward to: The big u/s on Feb. 10th! Although, I think we have decided to NOT find out the sex.


• Milestone: Not sure if it is a milestone, but even my jeans won’t button now. The Bella Band is needed daily… unless I choose not to get out of my pajamas one day, but of course I would never do that :)

• Weekly Wisdom: Let people take care of you. Not that you need it or are taking advantage, but give yourself a break every once in a while.

I don't do STUPID.

We all know that men say stupid things, right?  Please tell me, for the love of Jesus, why three of them had to converge on me within three hours.  They must have been going for a record.

Friday night, J and I attended a surprise birthday party- one that I had no desire to attend to begin with.  It had been a long day at (the hell hole that I call) my office and I was tired.  And then there was this:

Man #1:  Look at you!  You aren't even showing.
This pissed me off because:  I have always prided myself on my pretty flat stomach.  Not totally, supermodel, flat, but good enough.  And this load that I'm sportin' isn't just because of the taco salad I had for lunch that day. 
My response:  I just smiled.

Man #2:  You are tired?  I know exactly how you feel.
This pissed me off because:  I am not certain, but I am pretty damn sure that he has never grown a human life before.  He, in fact, does not know exactly how I feel. 
My response:  I just smiled.

Man #3:  Hey, I don't think I know you.  Why don't you just let J stay here and hang out and we will make sure he gets home okay.
This pissed me off because:  A] I had no clue who this guy was.  B] He was drunk. C] I had been there for about three hours where everyone was drinking and it was cold (we were in the outside Tiki Bar, but they had plastic up) and I was absolutely exhausted and I really didn't care to be there from the get-go.
My response:  No, you obviously don't know me.  ::insert eye roll, and quite possibly a growl::

That was about as nice as I could be at that point.  My darling husband was smart enough to get in the car and not mutter another word to me, other than "I love you" before I went to bed, until the next morning.

I haz a baaad puppy

Duke gets very upset when we leave him at home alone, especially after a long weekend when we have spent the majority of our time with him-- better yet, sitting on the couch and allowing him to lounge in our laps.  He has been pitching a fit all week when we left him to go to work.

So I get home last night and he has jumped over his baby gate, pulled trash out of the trash can, and jumped back over the gate*.  Hey, I said he was bad, not stupid.  When I walked through the kitchen door, his ears were flat and he would not even look at me.  Because he KNEW he was baaad and that he was in major trouble.

It just so happens that I was on the phone with my mother when I entered the kitchen.  The mess wasn't awful and was an easy clean, but of course I had to "discipline" him anyway.  He had run into the hall as soon as I let him out, and he crawled back into the kitchen begging for forgiveness**.

It is a little hard to tell, but he is squatted down, moving at a snail's pace.

And as I was scolding him, my mother laughed and said, "If that is your idea of being strict, your kids are going to laugh at you!"  Thanks Mom.  I must admit, I'm a sucker for those puppy dog eyes.  And he is so snuggly and sweet... yep, I'm going to suck at the discipline part of this motherhood thing.  Oh well.

*He stays in the sun room, which is attached to the kitchen.  There is a doorway between the two where we put the baby gate.

**The house was built in the 50's, people... the kitchen is next on the remodel list.

I'm back from my "Lost" induced hibernation

Well, hello there!  Yes, I've been MIA for awhile.  Sorry about that.  I have no excuse for not posting anything over my four day break, unless you count lounging on the couch ALL.DAY.LONG watching a marathon of Season 1 of Lost an excuse. 

My NYE was uneventful... I mean, come on, how rowdy is a pregnant woman going to get?  The most exciting thing I did that day was get a new Blackberry (Curve 2, love it).

So here I am now, back at work-- getting used to my new role as bitch assistant.  I keep reminding myself that it is only temporary.  Bigger and better things are coming my way!  Hopefully.

In baby news, because that is probably way more interesting than anything else I've said thus far, I am actually getting a belly now!  It popped out practically overnight.  I kept wondering what these chicas on the Bump meant when they said they could feel their uterus... sounds weird, right?  My stomach used to be flat/concave when I would lay down and now it still sticks out.  Wow, what a difference a few days make. 

Please note, my ass has also joined the party.  Hardly any of my pants fit.  Ugh.  And although my eating habits have not changed, I am up a grand total of 14 lbs at 15 weeks 5 days. 

I think I'll end on that note because nothing else I can say would top that.