I don't do STUPID.

We all know that men say stupid things, right?  Please tell me, for the love of Jesus, why three of them had to converge on me within three hours.  They must have been going for a record.

Friday night, J and I attended a surprise birthday party- one that I had no desire to attend to begin with.  It had been a long day at (the hell hole that I call) my office and I was tired.  And then there was this:

Man #1:  Look at you!  You aren't even showing.
This pissed me off because:  I have always prided myself on my pretty flat stomach.  Not totally, supermodel, flat, but good enough.  And this load that I'm sportin' isn't just because of the taco salad I had for lunch that day. 
My response:  I just smiled.

Man #2:  You are tired?  I know exactly how you feel.
This pissed me off because:  I am not certain, but I am pretty damn sure that he has never grown a human life before.  He, in fact, does not know exactly how I feel. 
My response:  I just smiled.

Man #3:  Hey, I don't think I know you.  Why don't you just let J stay here and hang out and we will make sure he gets home okay.
This pissed me off because:  A] I had no clue who this guy was.  B] He was drunk. C] I had been there for about three hours where everyone was drinking and it was cold (we were in the outside Tiki Bar, but they had plastic up) and I was absolutely exhausted and I really didn't care to be there from the get-go.
My response:  No, you obviously don't know me.  ::insert eye roll, and quite possibly a growl::

That was about as nice as I could be at that point.  My darling husband was smart enough to get in the car and not mutter another word to me, other than "I love you" before I went to bed, until the next morning.