Let me just tell you, I was an absolute nervous wreck yesterday. I even teared up before we walked in to the doctor's office because I was just so scared that something would be wrong. Almost as if this entire pregnancy was just in my head and I had gotten myself all worked up over nothing. Crazy, huh?
J and I waited for (what seemed like an eternity) about 10 minutes before we were called back to the ultrasound room. It was an external exam. As soon as we saw the baby, J started laughing. He asked questions the whole time. I just watched the monitor in silence. It was the most amazing, indescribable thing I have ever witnessed. It was like watching a movie because it was so surreal. There is no way that the little thing on the screen was inside of me. The little body, the little flickering heart, they were the most beautiful things I've ever seen. And yes, I cried. Just a little.
Baby J is measuring right on time at 8w5d with a strong heartbeat of 178. I believe I could have watched that monitor forever. The tech was measuring my ovaries, and the cysts that formed due to the pregnancy, and I was trying to jedi mind fuck her into moving back to the baby. She printed out four pictures, which I stare at as if they are somehow going to move or change.
The rest of the appointment was not nearly as exciting. I got my H1N1 vaccine, whoopee. After a regular exam, we discussed a few things with the doctor, including the fact that I will give birth in one of the birthing suites at the brand new state-of-the-art hospital. Yay! And then it was over. We walked away with our pictures and our New Mommy bag. And once again, it just doesn't seem real. I have the proof that it is, but I expected to somehow feel differently. That will come with time, I guess.
I was a little surprised that we didn't sit down and chat about the do's and don'ts. The doc was mostly concerned with my water intake due to my headaches and dizziness. The solution, drink more water. To clarify, "more" means enough water to fill a small swimming pool. Ugh. My next appointment will be for a check up and to meet with the patient educator.
But what an amazing day. What an amazing experience. It was one of those firsts that you can never get back, but that will never leave you. I saw my child for the first time. Wow. And then J took me to lunch and I ate a mushroom cheddar burger that was the size of my head.
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I hated when they were measuring my ovaries. I was like "Go back to the baby woman! The ovaries have already done their job, I'm not interested in them right now!"
ReplyDeleteCongrats on seeing your baby for the first time. I know that you loved every minute of it.
It gets a little more real some days, but others it's incredibly surreal. I think that once we find out the sex that it will seem a little more real.