This is not good.

As I sit here at my desk today, I look like I should be reading cheesy lines for my starring role in a porn flick.  Yes, it is that bad.  I have on a white button down shirt and the buttons are about to pop off.  I am trying desperately to hide them with my scarf, to no avail.  How did I not notice this before I left my house?  Probably because I was too busy trying to gather everything edible in the house to take for lunch.  By the way, lunch now lasts approximately eight hours.

Ah, the joys of pregnancy.  Is it okay to say that even though I'm not even seven weeks yet?  Probably not.  Here is a run down of my "ailments" thus far:

• Bouts of dizziness:  The kind that makes you feel like you had one too many lemon drop shots and the room is spinning.
• Excessive hunger:  Saturday night I was hungrier that I had ever been in my life.  No shit.  I was so hungry that it hurt.
• Desperate need for sleep:  I am tired all.the.time.  Not just the lay your head down for five minutes kind of tired.  I'm talking deep sleep coma kind of tired.
• Weight gain:  A touchy subject, I know.  I have always been pretty thin.  It has really done a number on my mental state to see that I've gained seven pounds so far.  Yes, you read that correctly, seven pounds.  Blame it on whatever you wish, but I've never weighed this much in my life and it is a hell of a shock to see on the scale.

So far, only a little bit of nausea and fleeting at that.  I guess I consider myself lucky, but I've got a long road a head of me!  Please keep your fingers crossed that these buttons don't decide to give in to the stress right in the middle of my finance presentation tonight.  And if they do, please God let my body respond in kind by allowing me to just pass out or die of embarassment right there on the spot.