My breakfast was better than yours

I bet no one can top what I had for breakfast yesterday morning. J said he wanted eggs. I looked at him like he had lost his mind... if I was cooking, he was getting cereal or an english muffin. That is how I roll in the mornings, especially mornings that do not involve coffee (which is Monday-Thursday and I treat myself on weekends... don't judge).  However, he said he was cooking. Alrighty then.

Note to self: do not leave husband in the kitchen unattended.

I walked in and he told me not to look. This was the first sign that something could be potentially wrong and/or harmful to my health. When breakfast was ready, my eggs were very colorful. This was sign number two.

So what did he actually cook for me to eat? What was so special about these eggs? They were semi-scrambled, more omeletish.  ISH.  And these eggs included red bell peppers, onions, black beans, and hot dog weenies.

Yep, I said hot dog weenies. Told you my breakfast was better than yours.

I have an impatient child

Sooo, it looks like Little J is no longer completely content with staying in Mama's ute.  That is pretty much what the doctor said yesterday.  Okay, maybe not in those exact words, but you get the idea.

Currently, my cervix is about 20% thinned and the baby is at a -3.  I wasn't exactly sure what that -3 meant, so my lovely friend Tarra googled it for me- and subsequently scared the hell out of me.  Here is what she found:

Okay, so now that we are all schooled let's move on to what this means.  The long and short of it is that the doctor does not think Little J is wanting to wait till the end of June.  In fact, I believe what she said was, "our goal is to make it through May."

That just cut my wait time in half, y'all*.  Seriously.  Poor J is freaked out.  The good news is that she did not put me on bed rest or pelvic rest, but she does want to see me again next week.  Until then, I guess it is business as usual!

*It is still possible that I may make it to full term.  Keep your fingers crossed for us!

Lesson learned

Remember the post where I talked about all of the things I "can't wait" for?  Well, it turns out that I actually CAN wait.  As in, two days ago I was told there was a possibility my baby could be coming in two weeks.  A minor freakout, along with some bed rest, was involved.

I started having some contractions late Tuesday afternoon, although I wasn't entirely sure that A. that is definitely what they were or B. that it wasn't somewhat normal at this stage.  I went to bed that night a little uncomfortable, but nothing that worried me too much.

Wednesday morning I seemed fine, until I headed to work.  On my hour and a half commute, I started having them again.  I wasn't really counting because I was busy manuevering through traffic, but I knew it wasn't normal.  They slowed down when I got to work, but picked up again shortly thereafter.

At 9:21 I started keeping notes of when I was having them.  9:21, 9:28, 9:35, 9:58, 10:06, 10:13... it was time to call the doctor.  As I figured, they had me come in.  I sat for 20 minutes for a Non-Stress Test, which proved that I was having minor contractions.  The longer I sat still and relaxed, the more they eased up, but I still had five in that 20 minute period.

Oh, and did I mention that my blood pressure was up?  Normally, it runs around 100/60, but this morning it was 122/80.  Not alarmingly high by any means, but still high for me.  The doctor did an internal to see if I was dilated and also did a swab test (fibrosomethingorother).  She said my cervix was still closed, but was irritated... much like the rest of me was at that point.  I kid. 

The results from the swab test would not be in until later that evening, possibly the next morning.  This test would tell whether the sac had started to separate from the uterine wall, or something like that.  Basically, whether or not the baby was in danger of being delivered in the next two weeks.  I was ordered to be on strict bed rest immediately until we had the results.

I will not bore you with the details of my bed rest because it was BO-RING.  Seriously.  Bed rest is not for me, thankyouverymuch.  And if I have to go back on for some reason, or if this kid comes early, he or she will literally be grounded from birth. 

Thankfully, the test was negative! ::big sigh of relief::  Because my blood pressure was still elevated and I was still having a few contractions, I had to stay home yesterday.  Now I'm back at work, and the news isn't all good.  I've been told to keep track of my BP, and luckily my ILs have this nifty leetle machine that will take it for me.  I've taken it a couple of times today and it had gotten pretty high again after getting back to normal yesterday evening.

Keep your fingers crossed that the contractions stay away for a few more weeks... both for Baby J's health and for my sanity.  I'm ready for him or her to be here, but not now.  Besides, what am I going to blog about if I'm sitting on my ass at home all day?  I'm sure y'all don't want recaps of the latest happenings on The Young & The Restless.

I have friends, cameras aren't one of them

I have decided that I like showers, and I dislike cameras.  Methinks I look like a whale in most pictures.  That is fine, of course, but I just wish I was one of those cute pregnant girls (like my friend Pippy).  Instead, I get the skin of a 13 year old and a tank ass.  And I don't mean tank ass in a good way.

So I walk in the front door of my cousin's house and she says, "Wow, look at you!"  And I immdiately look down at my belly and say something along the lines of "thanks" or "I know."  I'm not really sure what I said.  And she replies, "Thaaat's not what I was referring to."  Yes, the girls are huge.  I know.

Although I was utterly exhausted before I even managed to set foot inside the door, the day was wonderful.  I have a great family and they really did too much.  Baby Jacks was greatly celebrated and came home with some very nice gifts, including a handmade afghan from my brother's girlfriend.  I was seriously impressed.  The girl took time out of doing research for her PhD to learn how to knit from a book.  I wish I had that kind of initiative.  Oh well, maybe in my next lifetime.

Because I am usually so slack with pictures, I was determined to do better even though it made me late for work this morning... and I'm obviously getting a lot accomplished since I'm blogging, right? 

Me with my lovely Mama

30 weeks!

We really are in the short rows now

Short rows, an old saying if you have no clue what I'm talking about.  Basically, we are nearing the end.  Exciting, yes... scary, damn right.  But you want to know what is even scarier?  Contractions.

Yes, I know that in order to have the baby there will be contractions involved.  I just didn't think they would happen this early.  In my professional opinion, they are probably just Braxton Hicks and completely normal.  However, the doc did not say BH.  She simply said contractions.  That is enough to induce any sane 30 week pregnant woman to cross her legs tightly and panic. 

That is where we currently stand.  Only 10 weeks left, more or less.  Holy hell.

The wait is over!

Because I know y'all have just been waiting on pins & needles, right?  In my world, y'all are all nodding your heads with great enthusiasm.

The patient educator from my doctor's office called me at 5:30 yesterday evening.  Now, anytime the patient educator calls, it is not a good sign.  Usually, it is because she needs to set an appointment to sit down and chat with you... about your diabeetus and what not.

Imagine my surprise when she non-chalantly said, "You passed."  Do-huh?  Apparently, my numbers were great.  So I immediately called my mama and ordered up this:

(minus the oranges and such)

for her to bring with her this weekend.  "This" is actually out of the Southern Living Christmas 2009 magazine and is listed as a Chocolate-Citrus Cake with Candied Oranges (http://find.myrecipes.com/recipes/recipefinder.dyn?action=displayRecipe&recipe_id=1940908) 

We are purists when it comes to chocolate and prefer not to mix it with citrus, hence the negation of the oranges and such.  So basically, it is just chocolate and more chocolate (ganache).  But who doesn't like that? 

I plan to eat as much as I possibly can, but I also have to save room for the goodies that will be served Saturday at my shower!

The 3-Hour

My three hour glucose test really wasn't terrible.  I mean, if you can get past having your arm stabbed four times and almost dying of sugar overload, lack of sustenance, and massive withdrawls of blood.  But whatevs.

This day was... interesting.  And that, my friends, is one hell of an understatement.  I don't even know if I can convey the hilarity that ensued, but I will give it a shot.

To begin, I did not have an appointment.  Well, I mean, I made an appointment.  They just didn't write it down.  But never fear!  Albertha will take care of her baby!  I would be the baby and Albertha would be the lovely Jamaican woman who tried not to put her baby in too much pain.  And yes, she seriously referred to me as "my baby" the entire three hours. 

For example, "Oh baby, how long did it take you to drive here?  On no baby!  Oh my baby, but we have another office closer to you baby.  And what is my baby going to do afterward?  Well, I'm going to take good care of my baby."  This went on for the entire three hours.

It was actually quite pleasant.  These days you get so used to the fact that most people can't bother to be nice that when someone really is nice you kind of have to savor the moment.  Albertha was awesome.  So awesome that I didn't even cuss when she stabbed me that final time.  It hurt like a bitch.

Oh, and I'll leave you with one more gem from Albertha.  After my second draw, she walked into the room across the hall.  As I was examining my wound, I heard her call out, "Baby, do you need your diaper changed?"  I quickly looked up and glanced around only to realize that she was speaking to ME.  Umm, what?  Does she think that I pooped myself or something?  I must have had an extremely distressed look on my face because Albertha laughed and asked if I needed to go to the restroom.  Didn't I tell you my day was interesting?

And in case you are wondering, I don't have my results back yet.  But just in case, I went home after my test and had a slice of coconut cake, and small taste of chocolate cake, and a popsicle, and a mini Cadbury egg.  Yeah, it sounds gross now when I see it in print.  But hey, you never know, right?

I can't wait!

Lately, I find myself saying "I can't wait" about something child related almost every day.  For example:

• I can't wait to see my baby.
• I can't wait to find out if it is a boy or a girl.
• I can't wait to buy cute little outfits and spend a ridiculous amount of money on said outfits.
• I can't wait until maternity leave.
• I can't wait until our first Christmas with the baby.
• I can't wait until I can sleep through the night.
• I can't wait until I can fit into my old clothes.
• I can't wait to rock my baby to sleep.
• I can't wait until I can enjoy a glass of wine with my husband.

This list could go on forever.  And each time I think or say these things, I have to remind myself to slow down.  Yes, those things will be great.  And eventually I will do each one of them.

But for today, in this moment, I need to remember to enjoy it.  I need to remember to enjoy these last few weeks that I have left.  And I guess I will conclude this post with my list of Things I Hope I Always Remember (2nd Trimester).

• The first baby kicks.
• The first time J felt the baby kick.  And yes, he laughed.
• How scary it was having those first pains from the kidney stone and being more worried for my child than I was for myself.  And feeling like I would rather deal with the pain than hear my baby's heart rate drop because of the drugs.
• How amazing my husband was and how calm he was when I was hurting so badly and when we were in the hospital.  He held my hand the whole time and even took me to the bathroom because I was so drugged that I couldn't go by myself.
• Seeing our baby at the 20 week ultrasound and finding out that s/he was healthy and growing perfectly.  And how hard it was to tell them that we did not want to find out the sex!
• Watching my belly get larger each week and seeing how my husband just adores it.
• My mom crying the first time she felt the baby kick.
• Duke laying his head on my belly every night before bed.
• Being startled because the baby kicked me so hard in the ribs that it made me jump.
• Feeling like the baby was trying to climb out of my throat.
• Getting my first "stranger comments" because I finally looked pregnant.

Every moment of this pregnancy has been a blessing.  I consider us to be extremely fortunate and I do not ever want to look back and feel that I took one minute for granted.

One year ago today, the death knell rang

Yes people, I can talk about something else besides my baby and my dog.  But seriously, my dog is precious, right?

As I was saying, one year ago today I got some incredibly painful news.  I found out I was losing a very good friend.  It was like losing part of my family.  And though I knew that I would survive, in that moment it felt like the world was coming to an end.  This was no April Fool's joke. 

My beloved Guiding Light had been cancelled.  Now before you start rolling your eyes, let me just say that this was an integral part of my family.  My mother and I laughed, cried, joked, and gossiped about all of the happenings in Springfield, as if it were just down the road.

And for us, maybe it was.  Maybe Reva Shayne was somewhere close by raising a little hell.  Maybe Alan Spaulding was smoking his cigar and hatching evil plans, with that twinkle in his eye, in an office building in the next city.  And just maybe the Bauers were sitting in their kitchen planning the next big Bauer BBQ.

Okay, I'm not delusional, not really.  But it was a nice escape from real life.  It was an hour out of my day that I could spend wrapped up in someone else's drama.  It was exciting and yet it was completely calming because it was familiar.  It was a constant in my life from the time I was little until September 18, 2009 when the light went out in Springfield.

Aside from the entertainment, there were lessons to be learned.  Lessons about love, lessons about character, lessons about friendship and family and how they are what you make them.

So today I will mourn the loss of Guiding Light.  And for good measure, I will give a big middle finger and some choice words to those who destroyed it for their own personal gain.  Because I will never be able to share with my child those laughs and tears that can only come from an hour curled up on the couch with a box of tissues, a diet coke, and extended family that visit to divulge their secrets, their pain, and their joy.

"There is a destiny that makes us brothers, none goes his way alone.  All that we send into the lives of others, comes back into our own."  The Guiding Light~ January 25, 1937- September 18, 2009