At least the camera is new

Disclaimer:  J and I live in his grandmother's old house.  When I say old, I mean "built back in the stone ages."  We are remodeling, but you will not see our handiwork in any of the pics below.  I am fairly sure that after posting these, I will feel compelled to post before and after pics of the work we have done...

I was not exactly up to being Martha Stewart for Christmas this year.  Maybe when my house is fully renovated and I don't feel like sleeping until June, I will be a little more creative.  Anyway, behold our lovely Christmas decorations....

The front of the house

Our Christmas tree (please note the beautiful Swarovski crystal J at the top), after the gifts had all been opened.

The stockings were hung on the deer antlers with care (please again, note the disclaimer... and yes, I know that technically we could take it down, but the walls are discolored from it being there for so long)

My nutcracker

Okay, I didn't go all out this year, but at least I did something, right?  And there are a few other decorative pieces around the house, but I didn't feel like taking pictures of everything.  Alright, that is not true.  I did feel like taking pictures.  Just not of Christmas decorations...

Duke's first Christmas

Helping open his present

Loving his new rabbit baby

::haven't you had quite enough yet?::

::I give up::

So there you have it.  Christmas madness at my house.  I hope that you all had a wonderful holiday! 

As you may have noticed

I've made some changes to the blog.  Yay!  It was boring me.  No doubt, it is probably boring you, as well.  The least I could do was make it (somewhat) pretty.

See, here is the bottom line.  I am not funny.  I am not particularly witty, either.  However, I- as most other people on the planet- seem to think that people want to hear what I have to say.  Because my life is so fascinating, right? 

Therefore, I will continue to write these random things that come into my head.  Oh, I will try to post more pictures.  At least that will give you something to look at.

I am very open to opinions, suggestions, whatever you may like to throw my way, as far as the blog (it is highly unlikely that I will listen to anything else... no, I kid). 

Hell, while we are here, I may as well tell you a cute story.  J is an avid fan of classic rock.  I listen to pretty much anything.  Needless to say, I was a wee bit surprised the other day when he changed it to the pop station.  I gave him a look of whatthehell, and he responds that he should get in the loop now because he wants to be a cool dad.  Collectively we all say, "AWWWWWWWWWW!"  Right?  Isn't that the cutest?  Damn right it is.

Stay tuned for some Christmas pics!  I have some time off, no school, and I vow to catch up.  I can practically see the excitement on your faces.  It makes me pleased, thankyouverymuch.

I am having a love affair...

With spinach hummus.  Yes, you read it right.  I dip a hard, crispy bagel chip (of the Everything variety) into the creamy goodness that is spinach hummus, and savor every last morsel.  This may actually end my love affair with chocolate... okay, probably not, but it will be a healthy alternative for snacking.

Last night, I ate two hot brownies covered in ice cream and magic shell. 

Ho, ho, ho and a bottle of Champagne

That I can't drink, obviously.  Wine is the thing I've missed most while being pregnant.  And God knows there have been days where I desperately needed it.  Wine and not being able to fit in my size 4 pants anymore ::sigh::  I'm not complaining, seriously.  It is kind of exciting that I can't fit in the same pants that I was wearing just last week. 

Anyway, so one of our vendors brought us bottles of champagne today.  It was the best thing that has happened to me at work in the past two weeks, and I can't even enjoy it.  Meh.  Whatever.  I have more important things on my mind today.  Like growing a set of balls.  Seriously.

Last year, our regional manager* let her office staff go home after a half day the day before Christmas Eve.  She called our office and said that everyone could go, except for one person.  So my (ex)friend and I had to choose which one of us would stay and which would go.  We both volunteered, but since it was techinically her property she said she would stay.  I felt so guilty that I stayed for another two hours, then said that I would take this Christmas if we were given the option to go home early again. 

So here we are, a few days before Christmas.  My job situation is quickly deteriorating, and I've lost a friend because of it.  And I'm pretty damn sure that because we are at least on speaking terms, she is going to expect me to stay.  Now since I haven't blogged the long boring story, let's just put it this way- in the four years that I've worked here, I've never been written up or given a bad review.  I've had both in the past two weeks, as well as the demotion and pay cut.  Funny how it all happened right around the time I told them I was pregnant.  But I won't go there for now, since it isn't really relevant to this story.

My initial reaction is "screw you, your raise, and your Christmas plans."  The day of, I will probably hang my head and agree to stay.  Because I am weak, and I am a sucker, and even though I am one hell of a bitch, I just can't be overtly mean to someone.  To which my husband replies:

"Tell that bitch all prior acts and agreements of friendship are null and void after she stabbed you in the back."

I love that man.  And since I know he would give me the sun, moon, and the stars if I wanted, I asked "May I borrow your balls?  Promise I will return them."

Although I gave it up willingly, a glass of champagne would be lovely right now.  And if anyone has any suggestions on what I should do (suck it up and stay, tell her to kiss my ever-widening ass), please feel free to enlighten me!

*Just thought I should mention that my regional is an extremely miserable person.  She is pathetic, really.  The only reason I refrain from calling her a bitch is because that would imply a certain level of intelligence, which I do not believe she is in possession of.  She stays late at work everyday because her husband is a fucktard and they don't like each other.  Oh, and she has no style and bad (as if there were good) 80's hair. 

Welcome to 2nd Tri!

Being in my second trimester seems like such a huge step.  Other than not being so ridiculously exhausted and hungry all the time, I really don't feel much different.  I guess first trimester was mostly uneventful, and that is a good thing.

I've decided that I will start posting a Pregnancy Quiz every once in a while.  Not every week.  So, here goes...

• How far along?: 13 weeks.

• Total weight gain: Holding steady at 8 lbs. What can I say, I was constantly starving for the first two months.

• How big is baby?: the size of a peach

• Maternity clothes?: Just my Bella Band.

• Stretch marks?: Nope.

• Sleep?: Sleeping like the dead, going to the bathroom a couple of times, dozing from about 4 to 6am, then not being able to drag myself out of bed until about 6:20.

• Best moment this week?: Seeing the baby on our surprise ultrasound. He kicked me! I wish I could have felt it.

• Movement?: Not feeling anything, but the u/s showed a very squirmy baby!

• Food cravings?: Carbs and anything sweet. 

• Gender?: I’m thinking boy. J called the baby a “she” twice on accident the other night.

• Labor signs?: Nope.

• Belly button in or out?: In

• What I miss: Red wine. I actually stuck my nose in a friend’s glass last night just to be able to smell it.

• What I'm looking forward to: Telling our friends from my hometown on Christmas Eve!

• Milestone: Moving up to second tri and picked our day care this morning.

• Weekly Wisdom: When everything in life is stressing you out, just remember that nothing else is worth the health of your baby. That will straighten your ass out quick.

As I mentioned, J and I picked a day care!  We went to take a tour this morning.  It very nice, and VERY clean.  The lady who owns it is wonderful, and the children all seem so happy.  I thought we would have a harder time, but it was so much fun.  Now if only I could figure out a way to take my baby to day care and yet not have to actually leave him there....  ::sigh::

First Trimester- Things I Hope I Always Remember

Forgive me, but this was kinda-sorta stolen from someone else's blog.  It was just so nice that I couldn't resist.

Things I Hope I Always Remember


1.  The nervousness and excitement that I felt the morning I saw the word "Pregnant" pop up on that Clear Blue Easy test.


2.  The way J laughed and hugged me when I told him he was going to be a Daddy.


3.  How hungry I was for the first few weeks- I'm not sure I have ever or will ever feel that way again!


4.  How good those absolutely-exhausted-sleep-like-the-dead naps felt.


5.  J stopping at five different fast food restaurants on the way home from Clemson at 10:00 in the morning because I HAD to have french fries and no one was serving lunch yet.


6.  Seeing my baby on the ultrasound for the first time.  It is a feeling that can still bring tears to my eyes.

7.  Telling our friends and family and enjoying the looks of shock and awe and pure joy.


8.  My Daddy questioning me about what I could eat, not letting me carry my own bags upstairs (even thought I was only 6 weeks), and calling my Mama while we were shopping to make sure I had eaten.


9.  J calling to tell me that HE had called and found us a day care.  He was so proud of himself, and I knew in that moment that he was a Daddy, and a damn good one.


10.  The sheer terror of not being able to find the baby's heartbeat and then the elation and relief of seeing it wiggle and kick away on the ultrasound monitor.

Introducing... Baby Jacks!

My sweet little squirmy baby...

J and I went today for our second appointment.  We had to wait forever, but it was totally worth it.

Right off the bat we had to sign paperwork agreeing to what we would be paying the doc's office. It wasn't too bad, but if I lose my job we are screwed because my deductible will go from $2000 to $5000 (because it would be me and J on his plan).
Anyway, my doc was running late because she had an emergency at the hospital.  When she did come in she gave me a lecture, a nice one, on the immediate need to eliminate stress. I didn't mention this before because I wasn't sure what it was, but she thinks that (based on my description) I have experienced a couple of contractions. This is obviously not good at 13 weeks. She asked if I wanted medication to deal with my anxiety, but I turned it down. She asked if there was anything she could do and even mentioned me quitting my job, which I don't think is going to be an option. Of course, I cried through most of this conversation. Not sobbing, but just teary-ish.
She then brought in the doppler to hear the baby's heartbeat. She told me that because of the position she may not be able to find it, and not to stress over it. Haha. When she couldn't find it, the waterworks started again. The battery in the doppler started dying so she said screw it, let's do an ultrasound.
I was really scared, but at the same time knew it was somewhat normal. The tech found the baby right away and the first thing he did was kick the shit out of me. J and I both laughed, and I immediately felt better. And, you guessed it, I cried again.  The baby wouldn't stop wiggling, and the tech said it was no wonder the doc couldn't find the heartbeat!
 
So there you have it.  My baby is  happy and active!  And I could not be happier... or less stressed.

I'm here to vent.

Plain and simple.  I have nothing good to say today, about anything.  Maybe I should go back and reread my post about being thankful.  But first, let me fill you in on what has been happening with me for the last few days.

The CEO of my company was in town Friday to take all of the employees in the area (all 8 of us) out to dinner.  It was that very same day that I found out I was getting a demotion and a $5,000 pay cut.  The demotion is not for anything I've done or haven't done, but simply because I don't have a property to manage right now.  I have been acting as an assistant for one property for a few months, so now it is permanent until we find something else.

This isn't really a huge deal.  It is happening all over the country, and I am not so special that this recession can't touch me.  The problem is how it was handled.  It seems that this was all put into motion back in August when work on the 2010 budget started.  The budget was approved in September.  Therefore, my boss has known about this for months and did not find it to be pertinent information to share with me.

My boss and my co-worker (now immediate supervisor) have been lying to me about my pay for four months.  I think I deserved a little better than that considering I've worked with them for six years.  And it isn't like this is some huge office.  As I mentioned, there are 8 of us.  Would it have really been a problem for them to tell me so that my husband and I could be a little more frugal with our money and prepare?

I accidentally stumbled upon this information on Friday.  In a state of shock, I caused a bit of a scene with my co-worker and told her I was leaving, which I did.  I was absolutely furious and I am positive that my blood pressure was through the roof.  I also chose this time to tell my boss that I'm pregnant.  She, in turn, was furious with my co-worker for not telling her... although it was none of her business.

My co-worker feels awful about the situation and takes full responsibility, although my boss told her not to tell me about the pay cut.  My boss was extremely unprofessional, rude, and downright classless about the whole situation.  She has never taken responsibility for anything in her life, and I didn't expect this to be any different.  To be completely honest, everyone we work with finds her to be a miserable person.  She is always talking about how she and her husband don't get along, and she comes to work in horrible moods and takes it out on everyone.

So what is the point in all of this?  I work with a bunch of assholes.  Bottom line.  My only saving grace is knowing that at the end of the day I will go home to a husband that loves me and our child, and I will soon finish with school and be able to tell all of them to fuck off.  They will be stuck with their pathetic lives and will be working for a pitiful company that will more than likely not be in business in a couple of years.

They can all suck it.  Anyone know of any good jobs in the Charleston area?

Today was a good day

• A very good friend of mine had four miscarriages, removal of a tube, and was diagnosed with a blood-clotting disorder all in the last year.  She was given a very dismal outlook for ever being able to concieve a child naturally.  Today I found out that she is due three days after me. 
• I'm getting an awesome Christmas bonus.
• My BFPF, the absolutely fantastic friend that she is, Wranglercowgrl87 sent me the sweetest gift!  Please behold the fabulousness...

(Skittles are one of my favorite things EVER)

I am now relaxing on the couch, curled up with the puppy and a steaming hot mug of Swiss Mocha, and watching the latest episode of Brothers & Sisters.  It is days like today that I count my blessings and thank my lucky stars. 

Coping with Disaster 101

Run and hide.  Yep, that is my solution.  When something goes drastically wrong, just remove yourself from the situation.  And what situation was it?  Allow me to explain.

My ILs are super excited about the baby, which is good.  What is not good is the fact that they have been bugging J for weeks about telling everyone... or "spreading the news," as my MIL put it.  They can not seem to wrap their brains around the fact that it is NOT their news to spread.

Anyway, J and I decided to tell our friends Saturday night before the town Christmas party.  Repeat: OUR FRIENDS.  Oh, and we had told the ILs that they could tell family members.  What they heard was, "Please feel free to tell everyone and their mother's brothers."  And that is exactly what they did.

So as I entered the Christmas party Saturday night I was immediately bombarded with people.  In case I have not mentioned it before, I'm not too particularly fond of people, in general.  Especially those who will pass you in the grocery store without a word because they can't be bothered.  These are the same people who feel that, now that I am pregnant, they should be privy to every detail.  Some even going as far as to say that they didn't know we were trying....

Ummm, no shit.  FYI, my sex life is none of your effin business.  Why is it that people think an appropriate response to someone being pregnant is to ask "were you trying?"  People, I'm 30 years old, I believe I understand how to prevent pregnancy.  Steam is coming out of my ears as I type.  For serious.

Back to my original thought process: coping with disaster.  Needless to say, the party was completely ruined for me.  I tolerated it for as long as I could.  And then I left.  Yep, after an hour and a half of being under the microscope, I left the party.  Oh well, sitting on my couch watching football and eating Cheez-Its was a much better alternative to freezing my ass off while everyone else got drunk. 

Let's do a comparison, shall we?

Me at 5 weeks and me at 11 weeks.  You can definitely see the eight pounds I've gained.  And yes, my boobs have grown from a C to a D, but the way my shirt is pulled up makes them look a gazillion times bigger.  Please excuse my overall general grossness, but my face is broken out like a 13 year old and I hate my hair right now, not to mention I am just not photogenic at all.  Blah.

Random thoughts....

Wow.  So it has been over a week since I blogged about anything.  I guess I haven't really done anything worth writing about, unless you want to head my views on health policy.  No?  Didn't think so.

J and I did tell our closest friends last Saturday that we are expecting.  It was fun and we were both really nervous.  I guess the nerves came from not knowing how they would react.  Of course they were all wonderful and very happy for us.  And the girls wanted to know every last detail.  So it was a lot of fun!

I am working out of town this week and still have a lot on my plate.  A break is greatly needed!  Besides, I need to get my Christmas shopping ON! 

Hope you are all having a wonderful start to the holiday season!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Okay, so it is a day early, but I will probably not be around much tomorrow, as I will be overindulging in turkey, dressing, macaroni and cheese, rice and gravy, butterbeans, squash, pineapple casserole, and many other things that I am forgetting.  Thanksgiving is truly my favorite holiday, mainly because of the food, but also because it is one day where we are forced to stop and think about all of the good in our lives.  It is my solemn vow that tomorrow I will (wholeheartedly try to) not be negative in any way, shape, or form.  Not even when my mother in law tries to touch my belly.  Everyone say it with me, "It is not baby, it is bloat."

I will be 10 weeks on Friday!  Now that is something to be thankful for.  I still haven't posted the u/s pic because our scanner at work is not exactly a high quality machine and the scans distort the pictures.  Maybe I can work on that over my break while I'm at my Mama and Daddy's house.

Only a two and a half weeks left in the semester!  Keep me in your prayers, as I need every one that I can get right now.  I'm drowning in school work.  Speaking of which, I should probably get back to it.  Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

First appointment!

Let me just tell you, I was an absolute nervous wreck yesterday.  I even teared up before we walked in to the doctor's office because I was just so scared that something would be wrong.  Almost as if this entire pregnancy was just in my head and I had gotten myself all worked up over nothing.  Crazy, huh?

J and I waited for (what seemed like an eternity) about 10 minutes before we were called back to the ultrasound room.  It was an external exam.  As soon as we saw the baby, J started laughing.  He asked questions the whole time.  I just watched the monitor in silence.  It was the most amazing, indescribable thing I have ever witnessed.  It was like watching a movie because it was so surreal.  There is no way that the little thing on the screen was inside of me.  The little body, the little flickering heart, they were the most beautiful things I've ever seen.  And yes, I cried.  Just a little.

Baby J is measuring right on time at 8w5d with a strong heartbeat of 178.  I believe I could have watched that monitor forever.  The tech was measuring my ovaries, and the cysts that formed due to the pregnancy, and I was trying to jedi mind fuck her into moving back to the baby.  She printed out four pictures, which I stare at as if they are somehow going to move or change.

The rest of the appointment was not nearly as exciting.  I got my H1N1 vaccine, whoopee.  After a regular exam, we discussed a few things with the doctor, including the fact that I will give birth in one of the birthing suites at the brand new state-of-the-art hospital.  Yay!  And then it was over.  We walked away with our pictures and our New Mommy bag.  And once again, it just doesn't seem real.  I have the proof that it is, but I expected to somehow feel differently.  That will come with time, I guess.

I was a little surprised that we didn't sit down and chat about the do's and don'ts.  The doc was mostly concerned with my water intake due to my headaches and dizziness.  The solution, drink more water.  To clarify, "more" means enough water to fill a small swimming pool.  Ugh.  My next appointment will be for a check up and to meet with the patient educator. 

But what an amazing day.  What an amazing experience.  It was one of those firsts that you can never get back, but that will never leave you.  I saw my child for the first time.  Wow.  And then J took me to lunch and I ate a mushroom cheddar burger that was the size of my head.

Lazy Weekends

Football season is so hectic.  During the rest of the year, I completely take for granted how wonderful it can be to stay home on the weekends.  This weekend was the ultimate in relaxation, and much needed.  If you can believe it, I only did a grand total of an hour and a half of schoolwork!  Yay!  I'm probably going to pay for it later, but whatever.

J and I are doing some remodeling to our centuries old cave.  Okay, it isn't as bad as I make it out to be, and it is only about 50 years old, but it was pretty neglected and a LOT of work is going into it to make it more suitable for living.  The master bedroom and guest bedroom were done over the last two years, as well as the guest bath.  Right now we are working on the master bath and our ginormous closet.  All of my clothes are currently housed on the guest bed, making it nearly impossible to function.  Oh well!

Next will be the kitchen.  A huge task to undertake, and J is on a time limit.  I think I must be crazy to allow him to gut the kitchen while I am pregnant, but if we don't do it now we may never do it.  Right?

So, J worked on that element of the house, and I did housework.  Oh yeah, and I cooked.  I made a fantastic casserole that made two meals, banana nut muffins, oatmeal cookies, and chocolate chip cookies.  Yum! 

Next on my agenda, concealed weapons course.  No, I am not kidding in the least.  Of course, I will be checking with my doc first.  Speaking of which, my first appointment and ultrasound are in less than 48 hours!  I am SO scared and SO excited at the same time!  Wish me luck!

Dear Duke,

You have been such a sweet little monster puppy lately.  I have thoroughly enjoyed having you curled up practically on top of me every night.  It was almost as if you could tell that I wasn't feeling well and you just wanted to comfort me.

All of that considered, I feel that I should offer you an apology since I yelled at you this morning.  It wasn't your fault that you got sick... twice... in massive piles the size of your 35+ pound body.  (By the way, someone please explain to me how an animal of his size can throw up SO FREAKIN MUCH.)  Mama just can't handle the sight, smells, and everything else that came with dog vomit so early in the morning.  And I am sorry that I left you outside in the cold while I dry heaved over the toilet.

Here is a suggestion, you can take it or leave it, how about try to chew your food instead of sucking it down like a Hoover, mmmkay? 

xoxo,
Mama

Football and M/S don't mix

Imagine being in the middle of an almost sold out football stadium, cheering on your team in a game that they probably shouldn't be winning... and feeling like you may lose your last meal all over the poor, unsuspecting spectators in front of you.  Trust me, not a good feeling. 

I think I asked for this.  A week ago I was telling my mother that it didn't feel real because I didn't have morning sickness.  Looks like the m/s is going to get the last laugh on this one.  So I've gone from a daily diet of english muffins, apples, carrots, hummus, proteins, and veggies to Jolly Ranchers, Sour Patch kids, and Lifesaver Gummy Sours.

It just feels so wrong to eat a whole bag of candy in under two hours.  Especially when I'm not puking it back up.  Seriously, I'm just queasy.  I almost WISH I was puking.  And when I do, you can all remind me (see bold, red type).

I hate water

Really?  Water?  The only way I can stomach it is if I am eating something.  Good thing, or actually not so much, that I am eating ALL THE TIME.  I am so hungry. 

Yesterday, I had my first go round with the queasiness.  That is no fun.  And the only thing that cures it?  You got it, eating. 

So let's see...  total weight gain to date is a whopping 8 pounds.  That is insane.  How in the name of all that is holy is that even possible?!  Sorry if I'm a bit obssessed with weight, but... well, I'm obssessed with weight.  Always have been.  Yeah, I know, I need to just get over that now.

And on a totally unrelated note, I'm getting the H1N1 shot tomorrow.  Woohoo.  Hey, at least I'm not working tomorrow.  Yay!  Hope you all have a great weekend!

Yes, I am a Klutz

With a big ole capital K.  I have tripped twice in the past week.  The first time, in front of my finance class, I was wearing boots with 3 1/2 inch heels.  This time, in front of the big whig from the sales company, I tripped over the carpet.  While wearing Sperrys.  Oh, and PS, I'm wearing the Sperrys because I figured they would be trip-free.  FAIL.

This is not good.

As I sit here at my desk today, I look like I should be reading cheesy lines for my starring role in a porn flick.  Yes, it is that bad.  I have on a white button down shirt and the buttons are about to pop off.  I am trying desperately to hide them with my scarf, to no avail.  How did I not notice this before I left my house?  Probably because I was too busy trying to gather everything edible in the house to take for lunch.  By the way, lunch now lasts approximately eight hours.

Ah, the joys of pregnancy.  Is it okay to say that even though I'm not even seven weeks yet?  Probably not.  Here is a run down of my "ailments" thus far:

• Bouts of dizziness:  The kind that makes you feel like you had one too many lemon drop shots and the room is spinning.
• Excessive hunger:  Saturday night I was hungrier that I had ever been in my life.  No shit.  I was so hungry that it hurt.
• Desperate need for sleep:  I am tired all.the.time.  Not just the lay your head down for five minutes kind of tired.  I'm talking deep sleep coma kind of tired.
• Weight gain:  A touchy subject, I know.  I have always been pretty thin.  It has really done a number on my mental state to see that I've gained seven pounds so far.  Yes, you read that correctly, seven pounds.  Blame it on whatever you wish, but I've never weighed this much in my life and it is a hell of a shock to see on the scale.

So far, only a little bit of nausea and fleeting at that.  I guess I consider myself lucky, but I've got a long road a head of me!  Please keep your fingers crossed that these buttons don't decide to give in to the stress right in the middle of my finance presentation tonight.  And if they do, please God let my body respond in kind by allowing me to just pass out or die of embarassment right there on the spot.

Apparently, I am not Spiderman

Everything is annoying me lately.  J got out of the shower last night and the smell of the soap annoyed me (because it didn't smell right).  I made shrimp creole last night and it was gritty because J didn't get all of the veins out.  Oh come on, you would be annoyed by that, too.  And now I am annoyed because I am supposed to be going out with my friends tonight.  It isn't that I don't want to go, but because I'm in such a pissy mood and I feel gross.

Part of the reason I feel gross is because of the weight gain.  Yep, you read correctly.  I will be six weeks on Friday and I have already put on 3 lbs.  It isn't the number that bothers me, just the fact that I feel a bit pudgy and my clothes are a little tighter.  This feeling is further exaggerated by the following situation, which occured yesterday:

I was having a nice lunch with my co-workers when someone came into the office.  Nice person that I am, I let everyone else eat and I went to help the person.  Five minutes later, lunch resumed.  After lunch, the woman that I work most closely with (and a pretty good friend) said that another one of the women asked her if I was pregnant.  She literally waited until I walked out of the room and asked IN FRONT OF EVERYONE ELSE.  Two things piss me off about this: 1. She purposefully waited until I left the room.  2.  She didn't pull anyone to the side, she put it out there for everyone to hear.  This could affect my job, not to mention my sanity.

I have always been on the lean side and realize that I've put on a few pounds.  But seriously, it isn't that noticable.  So I have no clue what led her to this conclusion.  I really want to tell her IN FRONT OF EVERYONE to stop acting like a high school gossip queen and mind her own fucking business, but I'm not ready to out myself to everyone yet for the aforementioned reasons.  Alas, I shall sit back and stew over it.  My time will come.

Anyway, all of that aside.  I'm sitting at my desk trying to figure out what to do about tonight.  Maybe I can go buy a cheap and more comfortable outfit and still go tonight?  Then, what to do about my husband?  I can't tell him not to use soap.  I can't make him pay more attention to what he is doing.  I give up!  He told me that I am pregnant and that I do not have spidey-senses and that I need to get over it.  Boy, it is going to be a loooonnng eight more months for him!

And then there was...

Silence?  Not really what I expected from our big announcement.  We had it all planned out perfectly, but what we could not plan for was the reaction (or non-reaction) from our parents.  My brother and his girlfriend came over early, as we needed them to take pictures for us.  My brother, whom I fully expected to respond to the news with a shrug and "cool," showed a wider range of emotion than anyone else.  And he just smiled... and said "cool."

Our parents got to our house around 2:00pm.  I could not contain myself, so I decided that we would go ahead with our surprise.  We had ordered a cake that said "Happy Birthday Grandparents."  We sang and presented them with the cake.  And then there was... silence.  Yep.  That is all.

J's mother finally asked if we were celebrating something else.  I answered yes, and she let out a yelp of excitment, ran over and hugged me.  Then J's father hugged me and said "oh yeah, happy anniversary."  No, no, NO!!!  What is wrong with you people!!???  Then my mother says that she knew, that she could tell in the last week by things that I said.  Whatev.  I think it was a well educated guess.  However, she had picked up a little Mom-to-Be Hallmark angel for me.  Very cute and the one indication that she was excited.  I think it took the wind out of her sails that she wasn't the first to know.  My dad took a few minutes to understand what was going on, but he was excited, too. 

Overall, it did not go as planned, but what ever does?  Our parents are all thrilled beyond belief, even though it took them a few minutes to process the information.  It was a nice afternoon and I felt free to eat all the birthday cake I wanted.

My husband is lucky to be alive

Because I almost killed him at 12:15 this morning.  We went out with some friends to a Mexican restaurant last night for J's birthday.  Now let me just say, being that it was his birthday I gave him a hell of a lot of slack.  And yes, he hung himself.  Good God.  The beer and tequilla were flowing, and there I sat faking illness because I could not partake in the festivities.  Can I just tell you how much it sucks to be with eight other people who are drinking when you can't?  It sucks.  And my husband is the most obnoxious drunk EVER.

I did not eat at the restaurant.  I didn't want to go in the first place, but I sucked it up and went for his sake.  It wasn't all bad, but I had no intention of sitting there for three hours, which we did.  Then J got more obnoxious when we got home.  He laid down on the living room floor and "went to sleep."  Yes, he passed out.  Thankfully.

Then at 11:30 he decided to get in the bed with me.  After 45 minutes of listening to him snore, I lost it.  I became a screaming banshe.  Yep, I was screaming at this drunk man at 12:15am.  I was so tired, all I wanted was to sleep.  Finally, I grabbed my pillow and went to the guest room. 

Then, I realized I was hungry.  Luckily, there were leftover meatballs in the fridge.  And oh my, they were fantastic.  Just what I needed.  Unfortunately, it wasn't quite so easy to go back to sleep. 

So here I sit today at my desk with a massive headache, still hungry, and exhausted.  My husband is lucky to be alive.

J's Big Birthday Present

As you can already tell, I am not very good at keeping you apprised of the details of my life.  Oh well, that's how I roll.  So, in folllow up to my little testing tidbit from last week... drumroll please!

Okay, so it is kind of hard to see, but it is there!  I finally got out of bed at 5:00am on Monday because I had slept very little the night before.  All night I kept dreaming that I was up and peeing on sticks, so why the hell not just do it?  I will tell you why.  Because I was nervous as fuck.  Sorry, there is no putting it mildly.  I went in the bathroom and paced for a good five minutes before getting on with it.  I honestly don't even know what the one with the lines said because the digital popped up pretty quickly. 

I was absolutely shaking and had to go sit in the living room before attempting to cook breakfast for J.  He had requested a birthday feast of steak, onions, and hashbrowns; however, I was in no way interested in losing a finger, so I calmed down a bit before I got to slicing and dicing.

He woke up at 6:00am and I gave him his birthday card.  Then I gave him a cute little onesie that said "Little Monkey."  Trust me, not really how I thought I would tell him, but I was completely at a loss for words.  The words I'm Pregnant completely escaped me.  Go figure.  I actually do have a picture of his reaction, but I have not decided if I want to post it or not.  Sorry to be a tease, but I may decide to just keep that one between the two of us.  Or I may get over it and post it.  J just kept smiling all morning.  It was good to see him so happy on his birthday.

Tired of the drama

Why can't people just get along and play nice?  I mean, I'm a bitch by nature, but come on people!  An acquaintance from high school recently lost her baby during labor after she carried him for 40 weeks.  I can not fathom how utterly horrific that must be for her and her family.  Since then, she has been diagnosed with pharyngeal cancer.  As if all of this wasn't enough, her cousin is now accusing her of A. faking her pregnancy, B. faking cancer, C. killing her baby if she was actually pregnant.  I have to wonder why.  What could this girl, who is going through so much right now, have possibly done to deserve this?  The cousin even went as far as to set up a Facebook account in the name of an old classmate, request friends, then post a photoalbum with pictures captioned calling the girl a slut, trash, and even going as far as to say that it was a blessing her baby died.

And for what?  What does it take to open someone's eyes and make them realize that life is too short?  If someone hurts you and your relationship is beyond repair, cut them out.  It seems like it should be so simple.  There are barely words to describe how I felt about reading those comments on Facebook.  I know that I could never be as vile and disgusting as the person who wrote them.

Drama is just way too exhausting.  I think I will go enjoy a drama-free weekend!  Today is my Friday, and I plan on making the most of my long weekend.  Oh, and did I mention that I'm testing on Monday?  Fingers crossed!

Only one week late!

Early morning before the fog cleared.  You can barely see the other tents that form the big circle.

Under our porch

J sitting at our tent, number 64

The dining area.  The kids left their toys on the table.

J and I after church.

Bad dreams

I woke up about 3:00am FURIOUS with J.  Why?  Because I had a horrible dream.  In this dream, he left to go to a meeting, then I found out he was really going to a bar with one of his friends.  To make matters worse, I then found out that he had drained our bank accounts, leaving me with $444.00.  Thank you Jon Gosselin for your influence on my dream, you douche.

When I got up this morning, J was being so sweet- hugging me and fixing my breakfast and coffee.  It really made me laugh!  Almost as if he knew he had done something wrong, ha!

Still uploading pictures.  Seriously, there are 227 of them, mostly of my sweet baby puppy.  What can I say?  I'm a proud mama.  I will post the camp meeting ones and maybe a few other fun ones for good measure!

Have a fab Friday everyone!  XXXOOO

It has taken me this long to recover.

Forrealz.  Spending the night at that campground was the most miserable experience of my life.  Okay, maybe I'm being a leetle overdramatic.  And maybe my miserable experience might have been a touch exaggerated by the fact that I had a couple of vodka treats, stayed up until about 1:00am, and was woken by some kind of God-awful horn at 6:00am.  Awful, I tell ya.  Pictures are coming soon, I promise!

My next adventure was to take place this weekend at Edisto Beach.  Alas, it was not meant to be.  I won't bore you with the details, although I'm sure you would love to hear the dirty saga involving jail, house arrest, and nail-biting drama.  I guess J and I will be spending the weekend at home.  I can't remember the last time I was able to say that.

J is a complete workaholic.  Not in a bad way, but he feels like he has to keep busy around the house all.the.time.  Things certainly are taken care of around there, though!  However, it makes me feel a bit guilty/lazy when I want to relax and enjoy the weekend.  Yes dear, I know these things don't take care of themselves.  At least he has promised me sushi and a movie Saturday night.  Yay!

Thank God It is Friday

So here is how my morning went: wake up, sex, shower, amazing breakfast of grits, eggs, bacon and frying pan toast.  Good morning, indeed.  And I was on time to work.  Score.

Hopefully, my good day will continue to be just that.  When I leave work, I am headed back out to the camp ground.  I am absolutely not, under any circumstances, a "camping" person.  I don't do tents, bugs, etc.  Granted, this kind of tenting is a little different because we are in wooden structures, not actual tents.  My idea of camping is a night at the Holiday Inn, thankyouverymuch.

Alas, I will be roughing it tonight.  Wish me luck.  I am on a quest to determine if there truly is enough alcohol in this world to make camping fun.  Methinks not.  I plan to take tons of pictures, so I will try to post some of them for you to get an idea of what in God's name I'm talking about.  Until then, I hope you all have a fabulous weekend!

It's a boy!

Not for me, obviously, as I am not pregnant.  My best friend just had her big u/s today.  I'm so happy for her!  And at the same time, I just found out that a girl I knew from high school lost her baby after delivery.  It is amazing to me how this whole process works.  Why is it so easy for some, while some are subjected to so much suffering?  And then there is me.

I'm kind of in a blah mood today, so I will not ramble on with the "why am I not knocked up" rant.  We haven't been trying that long, really.  I would rather discuss something a little more interesting.  How about Camp Meeting?

I am entirely certain that you are wondering what those two words mean.  Is it camping?  Is it a meeting about camping?  Not exactly, or at all.  Camp Meeting began in my sleepy little town 200+ years ago.  It began as a religious revival, but has evolved into a great week full of family, friends, and TONS of food.  And yes, there are still church services.  Back to the food... fried chicken, grits, ham, green beans, potato salad, pineapple casserole, rice and gravy, pea salad, dinner rolls... and that was just last night!  And good Lord the desserts.  I had just a taste of the pecan pie, but I was torn between that and the chocolate pie, and the brownies, and the red velvet cake.  I'm going to gain twenty pounds this week, I swear. 

You can not truly understand this unless you have been there, or one like it.  I'll try to post pics at some point.  The "camp ground" is a huge circle of 100 tents.  And I do not mean camping tents.  They are wooden structures, most of them two stories.  Very basic.  As odd as this all sounds, it is a lot of fun and it is nice to socialize with our family and all of the other families.  Last night, we were sitting around the fire and J told me that he could not wait until we had children running around playing at the camp ground.  He wants so badly to throw the football with his little boy.  It is very sweet.  And as I watch him watching the kids play, I can't help but be hopeful.

Things I said I would probably never do

And this ranks right up there with them.  However, I guess I now have a blog!  My concern is this: I am not sure that I have anything interesting to say.  Do most people feel that way?  I can assure you that I will bitch about work and school, but I play just as hard as I work... so who knows?

I guess a good place to start would be an introduction.  My husband, J, and I have been married for almost one year.  We live out in the country, or at least what I would consider country.  I grew up in a small town, but it certainly wasn't this small.  A friend of mine jokes that I may be the only person in town who even knows what Jimmy Choos are.  Yes, I am serious.

We decided in May 2009 that I would stop taking my BC pills and we would start trying for a baby.  The decision was fairly easy, as we both realize that there is no such thing as perfect timing.  So for now I am working as a property manager until I finish my MBA and Certificate in Healthcare Administration.  I stay pretty busy, so maybe I will have some stories to tell after all.  Guess you will have to stay tuned....

Oh yeah, you may be wondering about the title of my blog.  "Big things come in small packages" is a something that I said years ago that my family, to this day, still finds ridiculously funny.  I think the actual phrase is something like "great things come in small packages?"  I'm still not sure.  But a baby is certainly a big life change and the greated gift ever, and all in one tiny, perfect package.  I think it kind of fits.